Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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