i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
