Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
