you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
