Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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