What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
