dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
