my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
