woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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