Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
