i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
