dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
