I should be sponsored by Trojan
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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