Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
