Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize