I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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