Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I want a musical about memes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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