I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
