Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
