Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
