I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
