Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
