margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I love having hate sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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