I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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