so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
