There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
