HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There's always time for handjobs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ladies don't puke and tell
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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