Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
