I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
