Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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