definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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