The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I love you.
Bad choice
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
