everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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