Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
