Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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