Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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