shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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