i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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