Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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