Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
