Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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