I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
