The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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