That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
