Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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