Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
