also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize