i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
