They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
