happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No...this little piggys going to the bar
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
