i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
