I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
