accomplished twins. life is a go
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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