I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
