i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
