Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize