Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize