Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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