I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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