You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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